Chapter 3
Early childhood
My parents made their decision to live in this safe haven under the pretext of having a place where
good morals would be a part of their existence. They chose to adhere to the exigencies and demands of a
charismatic leader. My parents had surrendered their children to monsters in a cult where human rights and
compassion did not exist. We were harmless children who were denied our basic rights to live and grow as
a family. In this newstyle of life, our parents were unable to make any decisions about whether they liked or
disliked anything that was imposed upon themselves or their children. Of course, we children were too young
to ask questions about what was happening in our lives. Our parents had turned their backs on us and on their
ultimate responsibilities.
Driven by his love for power and control, the compound leader was proud of his success and continued
to exert his will over his entire flock, including the children. Because he had all control and made all decisions,
the evil dictator savored every new conquest that was gained for his compound. The most critical thing was
that he was free to do as pleased without having to accept any feedback from the parents.
During my early childhood, we were deprived of receiving routine doctor visits and childhood vaccinations.
In the beginning the cult's excuse was that they were so poor. Later on, our lack of doctoral care was used to
prevent exposure of the abuses and molestations that we were constantly victims of. The supreme leader covered up all forms of molestation that took place. He appeared to have successfully fooled both our parents and the members of the local law enforcement community. At this point in our history, he seemed to be victorious in all his attempted conquest. He was fully in charge and in control of every situation.
The leader wanted us to adopt him as our own and unique father. He expected that we accept him as a
loving and caring parent. He demanded ultimate respect from us. Even if we accomplished something that
pleased him, we were not given recognition or praise. He was not impressed, as he had stolen this role from
our own parents. He had imposed his twisted mind and will upon us. One way or the other, things had to go
his way and only his.
As I was getting older and trying to analyze the situation, I felt that we were experiencing the beginning
of the end of our existence. I am sure that my brothers and sisters felt the same as I did. Devastation was
rampant! There are no words that can possibly describe the oceans of pain and despair that marked every
day of our life. My siblings and I existed under this very lamentable situation. In our innocence, we were
blindly told to totally submit to the order and desire of a guru.