Fear from Nowhere

About the Book

Standing outside on the green lawn shaded by mulberry trees, a little boy with a mop of red curly hair stared at his house. He was cold although it was a warm day. Being very slender and not very tall, he was dwarfed by the trees. A puzzled look came over his face. What was wrong? Something was very wrong; a shiver crept down his neck, causing goose bumps to slowly rise on his body. He stared at the large decorative front door. He was afraid to walk into his home. Beyond the door in his house, something strange was happening. Something was wrong with his mommy. Inside, his older sister was yelling his name, but he would not answer. She did not know where he was, and if she found him, he would be in trouble.

A seven-year-old is not very grown-up, but he was growing up fast. The discord in his family was causing everyone to feel sad. Why? Did he do something wrong to make his mother afraid? Pondering the events that had happened over the last few days, he could not find the answer. Mommy was not coming out of her room. His older sister was being very mean and daddy had to be away from home to work.

Listening to the voices in the house, he waited until they were quiet. Slowly he crept up to the familiar front door and quietly turned the knob. Slipping into the hallway, he peered up and down to see if his sister were in sight. Good, she was not. Turning, he walked down the hall and opened the door to his mother´s bedroom. Through the crack he could see her sitting on her bed awake, but staring into space. As he pushed open the door, his mother looked up and in her soft voice acknowledged his presence.

Many years later, another small boy was standing on the green lawn outside his new house in a new city. The little blond-headed five-year-old looked at the door of the house. Inside he could hear his baby brothers howling and his daddy screaming. Something was very wrong. He was afraid, but not of his father because he knew daddy was not mad. His father was just having one of those days when he would act differently. He was trying to decide if he should stay outside where it was very hot, or go inside where it was cool. The five-year-old vacillated about what would be the best choice. His mommy needed him to help with his brothers, especially when daddy was like this. He was feeling strange too; he was experiencing those funny feelings that made him want to hide and caused his daddy to get angry. Taking a deep breath, he slowly walked up to the door of his new house, opened it and walked in. Climbing up the stairs to the front room, he looked around and saw his younger brother. Grabbing his brother´s hand, he led him into their new bedroom. Sitting his brother down, he picked up a book and joined him on the floor. He then read his brother a story until the house was quiet and daddy was all right again.

The boy looked up as his grandmother walked through the door. She gave him a smile. Walking over to him, she knelt down and hugged him. Her touch made the tension leave his body. Looking up at her with his blue eyes, he searched her face. Reaching out, she stroked his hair, which always helped to make “the feelings” go away.

He asked his grandmother why his daddy acted the way he did.

Sitting on the floor with him his grandmother explained that sometimes daddy had “different feelings,” which would cause him to feel odd and get angry.

“Like me, Grandma?” He asked.

“Yes, James, all three of us have the same feelings. We call them the ‘Fear from Nowhere.’”

About the Author

lori has been the Director of Education for the Panic Disorders Institute and has moderated their BBS board for four years. Her discussions of panic disorder, which she has shared on several Internet sites, are well known in the medical community. She has helped many sufferers by sharing her personal experiences with them and by her encouragements to them. She has a bachelor’s degree in Health Education with graduate level work in Medical Social Work. She worked for many years with disadvantaged people and their children in the county where she lived and raised her children. lori grew up in a family where many of its members experienced PAD. They developed a crude method of dealing with the disorder, although they didn’t know what it was. She has children and grandchildren with this disorder and she has been instrumental in making life better for her children and their children.