The Best Of Wits End

About the Book

"Who knew doctors could be flat-out funny? In fact, who knew they were so smart? For several decades, the last page of Diversion, the leisure magazine for physicians, held a monthly contest for doctors. Their best is offered in this volume. Could Julius Caesar have been an orthopedist (I came, I saw (ed), I conquered”)? Would our litigious society cause MDs to experience flashes of barristopratfallophilia? When utilization review comes to Washington, one physician envisions government posts such as Joint Sheaves of Chaff. Might a sports team be known as The Heimlichs (they never choke under pressure), or The Sphincters (Nothing gets by them, and they have the best tight end in the business.) Another posits that a GI series is a military baseball competition. And somewhere in this great country there is – or certainly should be – a podiatrist named Mehta Tarsal. The surface has just been abraded.

About the Author

Harold J. Ellner, M.D., a retired urologist, practiced in Richland, Washington. During and after this career, he published several articles dealing with both medical and non-medical humor. Some of these have appeared in Verbatim, SPELL, Northwest medicine, and the Journal of the American Medical Association. He teaches at the local community college, volunteers in the English as a Second Language program, and for many years has been editor of the Rotary club newsletter. Creating and judging The Wits End contests in Diversion Magazine constituted a second career of sorts during a fifteen-year span. For several decades, the last page of Diversion, the leisure magazine for physicians, held a monthly contest that required doctors to come up with puns, one-liners, and other crimes against the English language. The entrants' best and funniest responses are offered in this volume.