101 Ways to Make Things Worse

About the Book

Twenty five hundred years ago, after years of searching for wisdom, Buddha concluded that “life is suffering.”  In his perennial best seller The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck begins with the statement, “Life is difficult.”  And when I was a young boy, my father told me, “Life ain’t easy.”  This seems to be a universal truth.  We all have issues to face, difficulties to surmount, questions that need answering and problems to resolve.  We are all faced with the daily dilemmas of life.

There are no easy answers, shortcuts or secret techniques to deal with our difficulties.  One thing we do know is that you have the capacity to solve your problems and heal your wounds.  Your power to do this lies within your ability to choose your reactions, alter your attitudes, control your mental perceptions and change your life.

When any event or situation occurs, in that very moment, you have a choice.  You can choose to make things better, or choose to make things worse.  If you are basing your choice on sound reasoning, rational thinking, and self-awareness; if you are dealing with the issue in the moment; if you are looking for opportunities for learning and growth; if you are looking within for answers; and if you are taking responsibility for your experience, then you are more likely to make things better.

Since we are all imperfect, fallible human beings, we all have our own ways of making things worse.  This book identifies 101 ways that people typically make things worse and then offers many more strategies, techniques and possible solutions to conquer those self-defeating choices.

Here is a list of those 101 ways.  Use it as a checklist to identify your specific ways of making things worse.

 1. Worry about it

 2. Take yourself too seriously

 3.   Focus all your attention on it

 4. Don’t be satisfied unless it’s perfect

 5. Think there’s only one way to fix it

 6. Stop breathing

 7. Avoid it

 8. Imagine the worst

 9. Think of it as yet another obstacle to overcome

10. Judge yourself (or others)

11. See your problem as unique

12. Remember all the times in the past

 you had to deal with similar problems

13. Wait for a guaranteed solution

14. Tell yourself you’re not capable of solving it

15. Feel sorry for yourself

16. Become immobile (stay in your room)

17. Don’t eat

18. Don’t tell anyone

19. Hide your emotions

20. Isolate yourself

21. Take it out on someone else

22. Distract yourself

23. Realize you don’t deserve better

24. Stay in bed  

25. Tell yourself you’ll never be happy

26. Blame your parents (or anyone else)

27. Wait for someone to fix it

28. Take it personally

29. Have a temper tantrum

30. Keeping using the same way to deal with it

31. Run away

32. Play it safe

33. Stay uninformed

34. Smoke, drink or pop a pill

35. Think about how lucky and happy other people are

36. Stuff your face

37. Tell yourself it will last forever

38. Realize that the world’s just a terrible place to live

39. Tell yourself it doesn’t exist

40. Hope it goes away

41. Deal with it tomorrow

42. Accept it as your lot in life  

43. Blame God

44. Wait for Divine intervention

45. Hate yourself or the experience

46. Feel helpless and hopeless

47. Compare your life to other people  

48. File it away so you don’t have to deal with it

49. Get the answers from other people

50. Play “what if” or “yes but”

51. Tell yourself it’s just not fair

52. Call the psychic hot line

53. Keep telling yourself this shouldn’t be happening

54. Resent it

55. Above all else, resist change

56. Complain about it to anyone

About the Author

Drew Cangelosi, Ph.D. is Co-Director of Innovative Development, and an Adjunct Professor at Seton Hall University. He holds a Ph.D. degree from The University of Iowa and post doctoral certificates in hypnotherapy and family therapy. For the past 30 years in has been involved in teaching, training, research, public speaking, consulting, coaching and counseling.