Libraries Are For Sleeping

About the Book

This book is about a fictitious university, St. Armitage (Armitage), as related by Jack Burns, professor of political science. The work covers 15 events during Burn’s academic career, ranging , for example, from (1) being a dean to (2) chaperoning the I Felta Thigh fraternity Mountain Man Stomp to (3) directing, as a senior faculty member, the annual homecoming. Most of the university cycle of events are covered, with Burns the protagonist While perusing these stories, some readers will be shocked. Others will be amused. Some may even say, “That’s my university!” None, I hope will be bored. Universities are somewhat bizarre institutions .that generally succeed in spite of themselves. They are called on to ripen callow 18 year olds, and Viola! these pimply freshmen somehow in four years metamorphose into suave seniors. Student development is aided and abetted by the faculty, who regard universities as locations that pay them to talk about Etruscan pottery or Shakespeare’s sonnet. Best of all, universities make students pay tuition to drowse through these esoteric lectures. This is a “liberal arts education,.” which fortuitously wears away with time . It’s clear that faculty play an crucial role in maturing students during their university stay, but it’s a mystery how this maturation occurs. Perhaps faculty lectures, falling on tired ears, merely age rather than mature students. Perhaps it’s the isolation required for natural student growth, since most students vanish from sight upon registration, emerging from the university only to demand money. Both students and faculty are united against a third group comprised of administrators, deans and presidents, who feebly administer the university. Using the words administer and university in the same sentence is, of course, an oxymoron, much like military justice.. Alumni, the fourth group, are relied. upon to fund all university actions. They are the equivalent of a university owned ATM machine. Alumni are rewarded for their open handedness by a front seat at the homecoming game. They also may wipe a teary, nostalgic faces on one of the university’s many ivy covered walls. These groups freely interact, and the result is what is we know as a university education. A strange and wonderful experience, college in the 21st century is changing grudgingly. Nonetheless, it still largely holds true to olden values, particularly if those ideas are irrelevant or outdated.

About the Author

John Rehfuss, born in Keizer, Oregon, is a retired college professor, having survived 25 years in confinement at Northern Illinois University and California State University, Sacramento. Before that, he was a city official in three California cities, including a short but glorious three months as acting manager of Palm Springs. His doctorate is from the University of Southern California (65), his BA from Willamette University (56) ( assuming these degrees have not yet been revoked by the authorities). He has written four text and trade books for college students and managers, none of which have as yet been banned or burned . All stories in the present book are largely the fruit of his fevered imagination, although they could easily have occurred in most private universities.