The Education of a Teacher

CONTENTS Prologue 1. Catholic Roots 2. Proud to be an Alice 3. Trailblazers and Sycamores 4. Technology in the Classroom 5. Discipline and Bullies 6. The Teacher and Coach 7. Parents and Students 8. Advanced Placement and Testing 9. Homework 10. Dress Codes and Uniforms 11. Meetings 12. Special Education 13. The Lawmakers 14. The Administrators 15. The Police 16. Teaching the Teachers 17. Interscholastic Athletics 18. The Demise of Physical Education 19. Classroom Methodology 20. A Few Good Men 21. Raging Teenage Hormones 22. Royals and Tigers 23. The Southeastern Way 24. The Cafeteria 25. Pranks and Parties 26. Tired, Bored, and Stressed Chapter 7: Parents and Students It has become a popular notion that it takes a village to raise a child. All it really takes is responsible parenting. This is the anchor of a virtuous circle. If this can be accomplished early in a child’s life, the transition into adulthood progresses seamlessly. Given proper mentoring and motivation at home, academic success will surely follow. Well before a child is born, parents have lofty expectations of what they will become. Psychologists have debated the influence of nature v. nurture for over a hundred years. There is no doubt we see ourselves in our children. We live vicariously through their actions, whether we want to admit it or not. We want them to succeed and feel a great sense of accomplishment when they do…and a sense of loss when they don’t. I have always leaned towards the “nurture” side of the argument. While there are no guarantees, parents can and do exert an enormous amount of influence over what their children become. Proper child-rearing is a talent only about half of parents have mastered (or even possess a strong degree of competence in). It’s probably a good thing that parents don’t need to pass a competency test to have children. Population growth could quickly become negative. It isn’t an exact science but an art form. It is necessary to devote enormous time and energy to the parenting process and to take near-full responsibility for a child’s behavior until they reach adulthood. The number one contributing factor to student academic success is parental involvement. This theory has been supported by many studies. James Coleman, author of the study “Equality of Educational Opportunity” (1966) concluded: “One implication stands out above all: That schools bring little influence to bear on a child’s achievement that is independent of his background and general social context; and that this very lack of an independent effect means that the inequalities imposed on children by their home, neighborhood and peer environment are carried along to become the inequalities with which they confront adult life at the end of school.” I am basing this judgment, however, on 33 years of observations. After a few months of class, and becoming familiar with the students and parents, it becomes clear as to which parents are truly engaged. Some are just along for the ride, purposely ignoring their parental duties. Others are possibly distracted from their responsibility by forces beyond their control. They may not see the value in education if they themselves are not well educated. Possibly, they are working long hours just to make ends meet; overwhelmed by the financial burdens of life. They may be workaholics, not making the necessary effort for their children’s education. Being a good parent is one of the most difficult tasks a person can undertake. Being a good provider for a family is a small part of the total equation. What is most important is instilling a sense of discipline and self-worth in children. Spending a considerable amount of time engaging in worthwhile activities with them is crucial. There are nearly as many cases of parental neglect and failure as there are successes. If, by the time a person is aged, they can honestly say they raised their children properly and they turned out to be accomplished and of high morality, it may well be their greatest achievement. I have heard comments like: “We did the best we could with him, but after a while, we just threw up our hands.” Or: “After a while, you just have to let them go and accept the consequences of their behavior.” I understand the old adage: you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. What I can’t understand is the lame excuse, “not my responsibility.” Parents need to take full ownership of their children’s behavior and give whatever effort necessary to correct improper behavior. I’ve encountered four types of parents in my extended career. The first believed their child could do no wrong. If the child broke the rules and was punished by the school, they coddled the child and attacked the school for mistreating their son or daughter. They either naively believe their child would not do such a thing or they defend the child’s behavior, even if they knew it was wrong. Either case has disastrous long-term consequences for the child. The child grows up thinking that indeed, they can do no wrong, and develops a growing disdain for authority figures. At its worst, it manifests itself in arrogance, insolence, and insubordination. Fortunately, most parents were not in this category. Common sense parenting usually prevailed and the student learned from his or her mistake. Also, even if the parent did not come around to the school’s point of view, often the student would. In other words, the student was being more mature and reasonable than the parent in a given situation. When this occurred, it was obvious the parent could not admit the shortcomings of the child or their own flawed methods. The second type of parent understands the imperfections of the child and themselves. They are willing to accept and hope their children learn from any corrections or punishments doled out by the schools. There is often significant gray area when there is a dispute between an agent of the school and the student. While parents may not always agree with every aspect of the alleged behavior infraction and the resulting punishment, they accept it and move on.