An Ace knows who they are. They know themselves well and their personality, triggers, and sources of happiness and joy. They do so by creating experiences that result in the outcome of knowing themselves organically. They choose and appreciate the opportunities to spend some time alone. When having some alone time proves to be difficult due to family, work, formal obligations, and other circumstances, they make time when they can. They choose to do things they enjoy. They do not live their lives solely to support others’ goals without first supporting their own. In some cases, they do so simultaneously, knowing full well the outcome may result in others advancing ahead of them. The Ace is okay with that because they do so by choice. And they are nice about it. The Ace lives by the airplane preflight instructions concept: Prior to putting the mask on anyone else, including a child, be sure to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. This is Ace 101, and it occurs with balanced compassion for others, not at their expense. An Ace operates as the best version of themselves because, in part, they have learned the art of self-validation and self-replenishment.
In the previous chapter we started by defining an Ace: One who is known as a person who excels at a particular sport or activity. An Ace has high standards of being and sets and achieves ambitious goals for themselves. It is important to note an Ace’s worthy qualities: they enjoy outcomes that result in them doing well. An Ace likes to succeed. They take initiative, pay attention to details, and make good choices. They have goals, are ambitious, and are known as one who does well. An Ace chooses to focus on certain things. They spend their personal and professional energy on things they know will eventually help them reach their goal. Whether that goal is to display a reputation, achieve certain milestones, raising their children, or look or feel a certain way, they do so by making the most of what is available to them. An Ace is strategic in their approach, meaning they plan for things whenever possible so that those things develop into their desired goals. They establish a clear sense of direction and purpose toward a specific outcome within a particular context. They prepare well. An Ace does the best they can not to get caught off guard. They do not wait for things to go wrong before they start refocusing on their stance. They set themselves up for success by first understanding their current state, looking at the bigger picture, establishing a tactic for how they will reach their goals— and that may mean coming up with processes and systems while leaving room for flexibility as they know the need to adjust will present itself along the way. They set out to be their own managers, not waiting for someone else to make decisions for them, tell them what to do, or how to do things to reach those goals. Simultaneously, they are okay with the way things unravel; they respect others and their positions, even if the things they are instructed to carry are not in the way they had planned because they understand that being okay with things they cannot control is a powerful place to be.
An Ace is self-aware. They understand how their actions, behaviors, choices, and decisions affect those they surround themselves with. They “get it,” when they choose something that impacts others positively or negatively, but also decide whether that impact is worth changing direction or not. An Ace puts themselves first, but does not do so at the expense of others purposefully. Things may happen to others, positively or negatively but (1) while taking all aspects into consideration because an Ace always operates, taking into account the bigger picture, that is not what drives the Ace’s decisions, (2) because the Ace does not feel responsible for what others think or feel, they do not hamper their decisions as result (3) while they do not set out to hurt others, they understand that it may happen by default, then decide on a conscious course of action for how to best manage those situations. An Ace has a strong understanding of people dynamics. They are cultured in human behavior and personality types and traits and leverage it when possible. They also leverage it to ease their minds, knowing that what others choose to do has nothing to do with them. Every person has their own path and agendas for their life game plan. Whether others are conscious of that or not is not something the Ace is necessarily concerned with. Specifically, the Ace accepts that others are not there to take care of them, make them happy, contribute to their financial gains, etc. An Ace is fully in grasp of their own agenda and gets it when someone else is not necessarily making choices to alleviate their emotional state of being. They do not expect a lot from others because they know that people are inconsistent in their behaviors, thoughts, and choices, especially as it relates to their relatability to them. An Ace creates their own experience by making deliberate choices to see the rather positive side of things. They know if something does not work out in their favor, it is because it means one of three things (1) they still have a few thing(s) to learn. There are times we want things but do not realize those things will not work out in our favor because we need more time to grow and evolve through that environment. And we must give time to time. (2) The Ace may not be ready for the things that those particular choices will lead to, and therefore, the timing simply isn’t right. The Ace accepts it and deliberately chooses to move on from that line of thought. This does not mean they refrain from making attempts to change their circumstances. (3) The Ace is being redirected. When someone wants something to the point of agony, the Ace’s perspective is that something is wrong. Because an Ace knows that they should not have to chase certain things. Things are not supposed to be hard. Challenging, yes. Evoking growth, or more to learn, yes. But when something feels very wrong, typically, it is because it is. Maybe wrong timing, wrong person, wrong situation, wrong environment, etc. The Ace is smart. They take pleasure in this redirection and choose to see it as a blessing in disguise. The Ace says to themselves, “I must have dodged a bullet.” Yes! The Ace completely turns their perspective of the situation around so that they make emotional peace with what is or is not happening. This is key. They move forward, look for new opportunities, and show appreciation for this renewed focus on new things, new projects, new people, new situations, and new environments that they now seek as a result. They do not see failure as a negative but rather once again, as redirection. This mindset helps the Ace with self-confidence because they “get it.” They understand how things work, and why. They trust in their abilities to move forward and trust their own judgments. They draw the line at arrogance.