In The Shadow Of Masculinity
A Candid Love Letter to Men
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The author of the book In The Shadow Of Masculinity believes no man should be limited by any gender stereotypes, or by his own misconception of how he should act as a man. This book, is a very candid love letter to all men out there, and all those bringing up boys and the society at large. In her words , the author urges men to jump out of the manhood box that limit them. She encourages men to by all means break the generational code that was passed on to them by their fore fathers in order to help save the future generations of men. She is very blunt with men who think it is okay to figure things out on their own and calls them out from living in the shadow of masculinity and further inspires them to learn to seek help through available support systems. With a little touch of poetry and personalized real time stories and experiences, this book has emphasized the amount of pressure men face internally and exhibit something different externally. In that, the book encourages all to train men from a young age on the need to identifying safe havens and living true to themselves through vulnerability, in order to save more men from internal brokenness. Reading this book will in one way or the other make one relate with what we see on daily trends and in the levels at which we have high rate of suicide in male, many men falling into depression, young men dropping out of college ,engaging in crime and other means of escapism from masculinity unpleasant realities. Theres need as a society to teach young boys on how to avoid shifting focus and learn how to embrace being human. Make them understand that everybody makes mistakes in life and that it is not weak to admitting to errors made in life. It is a part of life and honestly it should not ignite pressure to act better. Remember trying to act the opposite of the current feelings is what brings forth falsehood and denial. The state of being in denial breeds unhealthy masculinity and when the suppressed emotions cannot be held any longer , consequences can become lethal. This book urges today’s boy to be willing to unlearn and break free from yesterday’s lies that condition him into dysfunctional patterns. Boys must be willing to liberate themselves and their peers from gender based fallacies that break them internally. It is paramount to train our boys to unmask and live true to their feelings . This way ,not to suffer emotionally and show something different externally. Find safe spaces within their sphere to lean on in time of distress and seek help from safe support systems whenever they can’t figure things out.......................... Every young man has the ability to stop the statistics with him, the statistics to crime, gang violence, drug use and substance abuse, incarceration or /and being absent fathers. The young has the ability to change this game plan by coming out and breaking the generational patterns that make many men hide in the shadow of masculinity. "If boys don't learn, men won't know." Douglas Wilson
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About the Book
Lilian believes no man should be limited by any gender stereotypes, or by their own misconception of how they should act as men. Her book, In the Shadow of Masculinity is a very candid love letter to all men out there, and all those bringing up boys and society at large. In her words, she urges men to jump out of the manhood box that limit them. She encourages men to, by all means, break the generational code that was passed on to them by their forefathers in order to help save the future generations of men. In her piece of writing, she is very blunt with men who think it is OK to figure things out on their own and calls them out from living in the shadow of masculinity and further inspires them to learn to seek help through available support systems. With a little touch of poetry and personalized real time stories and experiences, Lilian has emphasized the amount of pressure men face internally and exhibit something different externally. In that, she calls for all to encourage and train men from a young age on the need to identifying safe havens and living true to themselves through vulnerability, in order to save more men from internal brokenness. Reading this book will in one way or another make one relate with what we see on daily trends and in the levels at which we have a high rate of suicide in males, with many men falling into depression, young men dropping out of college, and getting into crime and other means of escapism from masculinity’s unpleasant realities.
About the Author
Lilian Mathenge-Dudek is an enthusiastic change catalyst and graduate from the Africa Nazarene University. She is a former instructor at the Africa Institute of Education and former teacher at the Nairobi Primary School in Kenya. She is an educator with the Shelton School District in Washington State, USA, at the time this book was written and a published author of the book Spark Back the Men in Them. She has a great passion for nurturing and molding the youth, and for that, she has been a board member on several youth-based organizations within the USA where she lives and in Kenya where she was born. Lilian is also a passionate mother to a son and wife.