South Node Shaman; Living The Middle Way

One of my greatest challenges was to take accountability for my own choices and actions. That sinking feeling as your heart drops into your stomach when you first own your behavior. There’s a part of you that wants to justify your actions but that is a cycle of destruction. There was a part of me that didn’t want to recognize the freedom from burden associated with claiming the energy as a step up. It was easier to hold onto the dis-function because I knew it, I was familiar with it and I knew the probability of the same outcome even if it was negative. That way I could blame, shame, manipulate and guilt if I had too. This kind of mentality is what drives addiction. The fact that one would do anything to obtain that destructive desire of this sensual attachment truly describes addictive behavior. The thought process into my upbringing aids in understanding the patterns formed and reinforced. I realize that some people have more difficult lives and some have less conflict. I only have the version I live and that has been revealed in huge energy shifts at different times. One big enough for comparisons to be evaluated. When you are in the space where your mind can see and comprehend what behavior your exhibiting then you can make a better choice. Not change the world just make a better choice and every time that option presents itself into your world just keep reinforcing the better choice.